Student Life.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B A Start.
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart.


A line that i often feel i need to pop on my reference page at the back of my assignments. The very last thing they see So at least they know that i know i took the easy way out. But hey, if anything you have to be smart enough to find the easy way out and know how to use it correctly ;)

Ahh university.

Anything but eonomics

Bet you an economist couldn't tell you the value of this.

(However, i can tell you the opportunity cost and marginal benefits of my posting this)

House, yo.

Not sure how i've managed to miss this genre of music for so long. Maybe it's an acquired taste and like wine, grows on you as you get older. Maybe it's just an appreciation thing! Superbly soulful voices, sexy undertones then throw in a bit of soul and funk with some deep electro beats. Deep house, welcome to the playlist.

Candi Staton - Hallelujah Anyway (Larse Vocal Mix)

Finnebassen - Touching Me (Original Mix)

Phonique - Feel What You Want Feat. Rebecca

Taste of your own medicine.. in a good way.

"Cry it out. Just cry. You'll feel better once you get it out. 
Starting again is hard. You're doing an amazing job of it. You're a lot happier now than i've ever seen you. Maybe not today, but in all the years i've known you this is the happiest you've ever been. 
Being out of your comfort zone is threatening and scary and it's only natural to want to retreat back to it. But, if you can over come that, which you already have, then you can overcome anything. 
You're working towards a new life for yourself. One that you deserve and have worked hard for. 
Once you get there, no amount of comfort will take away that feeling of accomplishment and self gratification. And that will mean a lot more to you than being back in your comfortable lifestyle living a mediocre life that you're not 100% happy with. It takes time and effort, tears and sweat. But at the end of the day, you made it for yourself. You're doing an amazing job and i'm so proud of how far you've come."

I wrote this to a close friend that was having a down day last week. She thanked me then told me to re-send it to myself. So i did. While it's important to evaluate and sometimes criticize your own lifestyle and choices, we're quick to be harsh on ourselves when we praise others in similar positions. Sending it back to myself and re-reading it as though it was from another gives you a little pat on the back and a little kick up the butt to remind yourself not to be too harsh on yourself in your down moments.
It was good thinking 99 if you ask me and i highly recommend the occasional text message to yourself.

Coexist

I watched you breathe in

and i wished you'd stop

only for long enough

long enough

its hard to say

separate or combine

i ask one last time

did i hold you too tight?

did i not let enough light in?

if a feeling appears

if your mind should sway

it's not a secret you should keep

i wont let you slip away

we used to be closer than this

we used to get closer than this

is it something you missed?

winged or chained

i ask would you have stayed

__The XX
    Chained. 

The XX is this beautiful melodic trio that i fell in love with a few years back. Many would recognize an older release of theirs, Islands. This month they've given triple j listeners a sneak peak at their new album, Coexist. The band had this crazy idea to share it with one fan a few days before it was set to launch in the US. Within an hour, the London mega fan had released the link causing the site to go viral and crash within 24hours due to its inability to withstand the traffic of fans checking out the new tunes. Insanely enough, the phenomenon managed to go completely unseen by industry bloggers until the next day. But needless to say, it shows how quickly the world interconnects these days and the power of the internet (and no doubt a certain fans lack of secret keeping abilities).
Not often do i find an album that i love wholly and truly from first listen the entire way through on repeat for 5 hours. There is not a single track that i find myself wanting to skip past. The XX generally have pretty depressing topics.. while on first listen their harmonies are so sweet they melt, when you start to read in to their lyrics, you catch a glimpse of some really disheartening, soul searching and ultimately emotional imbroglios and crossroads. 

Never the less, i have never felt so soothed by such complexities and the manner in which they do so is pure talent to create such bliss for my ears. 

Check it out. 

Coexist

moments.

I had a moment tonight. You know those ones that really hit home for some reason? I've seen a lot in the past few years, i've heard a lot, i've dealt with a lot. But maybe there comes a point when you just don't want to anymore. I'm not sure if it's a point that you can no longer hold that sort of emotion or one of resentment, or maybe you're switching off. I can't tell which way it's going to go. Working in a crazy club, surrounded by drunkards and people no longer on this planet, you see a lot of nasty shit, most of which while drunk having a good night, you rarely turn an eye to nor think twice about. But in a high volume club, most people coming through you don't know, most people you see it happen to aren't people you've known or seen grow up. Suddenly, when it happens to someone close or even just someone you know, someone you see daily in a small community, it all hits home. You know what their families must be going through, you know what's on the line for them. You see the people walking past making comment, you see the bloke that made a buck selling them chemicals having a joke. Suddenly they're not just 'that kid' anymore. And suddenly, being naive, narrow minded, young, sheltered, what ever it was that protected me from it before, is something id long to have. I wish i didn't know what could happen. I wish i didn't know the trade off's and risks. I wish people weren't so stupid.

New leaf/ Old leaf/ Continued leaf..

Looking back, the past 18 months has probably been the absolute biggest head fucked learning experience of my life to date. One, that however much i've learned from it i'm hoping it to be the last for a good couple of years. So far the actual 'becoming of an adult' so to speak isn't really anything to do with age. And it really isn't fun at all. You live, you learn, you love, you lose and you survive. I think this is the key. It wasn't until yesterday that i sat back and re-visited all the moments, things and people that i've come across to get me to the point that i am now and i realised - fuck yes. I survived. I am strong. I am confident. It's been one hell of a tough ride, but hey - you made it, all on your own. I have done absolutely everything possible that i can continue living my life and happily say i have no regrets because i gave it all my absolute best and 100% truthfully. In every way. And at the end of the day, when you chose to walk away, when you chose to leave someone, something, some place, you've done it because it was the right decision for you and if the people that meant something to you are no longer there, or no longer care, or you chose to no longer have, it's okay. Yeah, the past 18 months i could have probably done without, but in the end, it was just a very long winded way of getting to where i'm meant to be, and without it, i wouldn't have made the decisions to lead for the first time ever, quite happily back to the family home in a state that i never thought id be happy in and a course that i'd never thought i'd do. I am so happy to say that i am proud of myself and i've overcome things in the past 18 months in leaps and bounds that some people never bounce back from. I survived and i am so incredibly proud of myself.