Life sucks. Whose doesn't?
When you've made a massive move in your life, I think people find it easy to dwell on the past. Your old house, your old city, your friends, your family, your old lifestyle, all the little memories that make you miss the way things were. I guess every time you're presented with the hate for your new life, you have to weigh it all up, piece by piece.
In the city I come from, nothing much changes. Sure, we get a new road or a new night club every couple of years, but ultimately, the atmosphere never changes. It's sleepy, it's comfortable and it's easy to get stuck in. In Adelaide the largest and most of the time only change we're generally confronted with is marriage, pregnancy, separation and death. It's almost as though the only change you see in your life in Adelaide will be derived from one of those four. But in reality, life goes on as normal and nothing really does change apart from a ring on your finger, an addition to the family or going on with your everyday life without that someone by your side. I find that in Adelaide I see more and more people settling than anywhere else I've ever been or had people talk to me about. The entire nature of Adelaide makes it easy to forget ambitions and overlook the drive for progression. And from what i hear from people that have left, while it's hard and it may not feel it at the time, leaving Adelaide, even for a year or so, was the best thing they ever did. It's easy to miss something for the same reasons you hated it. At times, you have to look at the opportunities you've not only been presented with, but have made for yourself. Do you take them? Or do you leave them for a life that will always be there? Then there are the reason's you decided you wanted those opportunities in the first place. Are the reasons still there? Are there goals you still want to fulfil? Do you still want to be with that someone enough to make you stay? And how do you know that the lifestyle you want to go back to is the right one for you if you don't give the new one a chance? Not just by being there, but participating in it.
It's easy to be unhappy and pissed off at your work. But when you think about it, has there ever been a time that you've been so overwhelmingly happy with a company that you've worked for? One that doesn't fuck up? One that doesn't piss you off in some way or another? One where you get along with absolutely everybody and no one annoys the shit out of you? I find when i miss something, I focus on all the bad things about the one that's replaced it. So, the question that's presented is, are they really that bad or am i focusing too much on the negative and overlooking the positive? Then secondly, are there ways that I can fix them? Someone you can tell, get them fixed instead of pondering on how much they piss you off. Are they as bad as your previous company? Will the next one be any better? And the hardest part is, these answers probably can't be found until you remove your emotions and exert all options.
Friends and family are usually the killer. I miss them, I miss them, I miss them. I don't know any body who hasn't felt this way when they've left friends and family behind. What's always gotten me through is the thought that friends are the family you chose. They will be there no matter what, no matter where you live, no matter what happens. When I moved at the start of the year, that notion was the only thing that convinced me to do it. That true friends and family want you to make the most of opportunities and while they'll miss you, they can sometimes see what will be better for you in the long term clearer than what you can. I left my best friend of 11 years and her two month old son, my god-son, I left my elderly Grandma who doesn't have anyone there for her but me, I left my Father and I left six of the most amazing friends I could have ever asked for. Of course they'll miss you, but true friends and family want you to make the most of life. Not let it pass you by.
True friends will come visit. True friends will be there when you come home. When you've got true friends, it doesn't matter what country, state or suburb you're in. They'll be there. Think of the flip side. If they were presented with the same opportunities, would they not take it because of you? And would you be supporting them or asking them to stay? When shit hits the fan, would you be telling them to work it out and persevere or would you be telling them to fuck it and come home? As I've grown up, I've realised that regardless of whether you miss them like crazy, if you come home for them or if you don't, the real friends are still there, six months later, three years later and six years later. Don't put your life on hold because they'll be there no matter what and the ones that aren't, no matter how fun they are, weren't worth it in the first place.
A wise man once told me that change is the only thing that you can be certain of. That same wise man's view on life changed me. He made me stronger. He showed me that I shouldn't let all these surrounding factors define who I am. He told me to embrace everything that comes with change, to work hard and take every opportunity I get. It's a shame that even wise men can lose their wisdom through the haphazardness of their own mind.
