Man down.

Its like screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when its over, when its gone.. you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good.
                                                    - Rhianna

It's hard to tell whether somethings should be left unsaid or if getting it out in the open will force you to clear your head. And sometimes, it's hard to tell if you've made the right decision regardless of which option you choose.

I am..

Happy. 

I am so, amolst overwhelmingly, happy and content with my life at the moment. I like where I'm at and where I'm planning to be. It's the best feeling i've had in a long time. 

I'm quite enjoying it. 

The stars are aligning..

Today started as an ordinary day. Then BAM! out of nowhere - everything fell into place. My plans changed and it all suddenly felt right. The little pushes of encouragement i'd been getting the past few months, the little signs, the wishing, then another incentive to add to the first two. A free cruise in the Caribbean with one of my best mates? Hell yeah. But it's not even that, for some reason today all the excuses and boundaries that seemed too large to overcome suddenly seemed minuscule. Why had i waited until now? Why had i never done something about this sooner? Suddenly, this isn't a hard thing. In the past 4 hours i've organised myself more than i have in the past 6 months! All signs point to what i should be doing. And that is exactly what i am going to do. Indeed, my favourite yetti was right - this year is going to be my year and so much fun. This year, the gods are on my side. x

Why Georgia, Why?

I am driving up 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon. Just stuck inside the gloom.
Four more exits to my apartment but i am tempted to keep the car in drive.
And leave this shit behind.

Cause i wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life.
Am i living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and fill the spaces with wood in places to make it feel like home
But all i feel's alone. It might be a quarter-life crisis or just a stirring in my soul.
Either way i wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life.

So what? So ive got a smile on my face but its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.
Don't believe me when i say i've got it down.
Everybody's just a stranger but that's the danger in going my own way. Guess it's the price i'll have to pay.
Still, everything happens for a reason is no reason not to ask myself 'am i living it right?'.

♥

we make mistakes.

When you can't take back what's been done, no words can be unsaid, no actions changed, theres nothing to do but let go. And while your heart may now be on a similar wave to your head.. you can't help but let hope get the better of you. Maybe one day they'll come back to you.