i want i want i want

To look like this.
In this dress.
With this hair.


Sending all my love, positive thoughts, pleases and thank you's to the Universe. Just incase it decides to throw some luck in the hair, wardrobe, money and fame departments my way.

Little Suprises

I have the best boyfriend ever

Yes, yes i do :)

♥ ♥ ♥

Lock it in!

Dont you love how you fit so snuggley and perfectly in the arms of that special someone and it feels so perfect?

It's the best!

Welcome to the World

Little Lukah Nightingale
22.10.10
♥ ♥ ♥

Julie? Josie? John?

Jessica.

J is for Jessica.

Who the shit is Jessica?

Who am i?

I often feel this question would be better answered by someone else for i, Jessica, don't have the foggiest idea. But apparently the age old question of 'who am i?' is something that can only be answered by one person. The person who's asking it.

I'm not so sure i quite understand how it is that people answer this for themselves. People who are so sure of themselves, of the sort of person they are, so sure of what they want and how they go about things. The way they speak, write, handle themselves and their emotions. The way they dress and with whom and how they socialise and interact with the world. Each of these little things defines who we are, but so many of these change (obviously topic of the week) and are influenced by others and little things that we don't even realise we're taking note of, so how is it that we can ever truly know who we are?

I wonder if there's a little moment that it just sort of clicks?

This Charming Man

Why pamper lifes complexities
when the leather runs smooth
on the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight
but i havent got a stitch to wear.
This man said, 'it's gruesome that someone so handsome should care'

A jumped up pantry boy
who never knew his place
He said, 'return the ring'
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things.

Waking up with The Smiths rolling around in my brain is usually a sign of a good day.
Today it feels like its the begining to a puzzling day though.

Growing up.

Gowing up is the pits.



Knowing you have no control over what is happening around you and that everything is changing, regardless of how you feel about them, is a really unsettling feeling.
Daunting.

Within the next few months, two of my best friends will be becoming mothers. The third is situated halfway across the world and the fourth, as hard as he tries, is presently off limits.

The one thing i have control over in my life is what i do. I've made the decision for myself but now, even that is daunting. The one thing i was looking forward to the most is turning back into the one thing scaring me the most. Massive, massive change.

I woke up this morning to the realisation that nothing will ever be the same again.

Any day now there will be a beautiful little baby boy entering into my life. Not mine, but i will no doubt feel and care about him as strongly as i would my own. As exciting as that is, it leaves me with an unusual feeling knowing that after eleven years of friendship, it will never be just us again. Then i opened my internet to find an e-mail from Canada only to further my unusual feeling. Not knowing when i'll see him next is the worst feeling in the world. The next time he comes home, it will no longer be my home. There will be no more hungover sushi rendezvous, no more lunch time catch ups. Its funny how life can bring two people together so quickly and equally pull them appart from each other in a heartbeat.

There is nothing permanent except change - Heraclitus

Change is a marvelous and scary thing. Something to be embraced. Something that every single human being partakes in. Something that can be so exciting and so terifying at the same time.

An essential part of the human existance and a key player in life's journey.
What is meant to be will be.

People will enter and disappear from your life, leaving heartprints and heartaches.

Change is something every being on this planet endures and expects, so why is it that change is something that so many of us struggle to accept?